Is It Time To End Your
Well I've chosen a touchy subject here I suspect! This article should be read in conjunction with 'Sacred Union' and 'Align Your Relationship'.
So lets get to the heart of this. Most intimate relationship breakups are not necessary. In fact most breakups are a way to avoid dealing with difficult personal issues. In most cases intimate relationships end from an inability and lack of desire or willingness of both partners to change. And yes it is always both partners that cause a relationship to end rather than one or the other being 'at fault'.
In normal codependent relationships we want to 'be accepted' and 'be loved' without growing or changing. We believe our personality, conditioned self or 'ego' is who we are. We want to be loved as we are, warts and all. We want this false self that we believe is us, to be loved and accepted by our partner. We feel rejected or abandoned if our partner doesn't. We don't want to let go of the old us to become who we really are. We see the problem as out there with our partner. This projection holds us back from our own growth that would lead our relationship to being truly intimate.
Generally we think about breaking up with an intimate partner when we 'can't get on with them'. This is not a good reason to end a relationship, unless you don't want to deal with your own unconscious conditioning in order to grow into your true essence.
The first questions to ask is are you willing to change and grow or would you prefer to be in a codependent relationship in which you can remain as you are? If you are honest and admit you don't want to change, relax you're not alone. This is the basis for the overwhelming majority of relationships. But generally we don't even know there is so much more to us than our limited egoic self.
In these relationships you will look for a manageable level of conflict, a feeling of love from the other, safety, security, sexual satisfaction and what you are getting from the relationship outweighs the pain. Generally you will choose to end the relationship when you are not getting what you want from the relationship or you are fed up with what your partner is doing to you.
But to live your essence these are not the real questions to ask. Instead ask is this relationship serving your own growth and are you serving your partner's growth? Is the relationship helping you live from your essence? Is there an underlying alignment? Am I physically, mentally and spiritually attracted to this being?
Another important question to ask is what are you creating together. The masculine and feminine ultimately always comes together to create. The interplay of the masculine and feminine is the creative polarity of the universe. The obvious creation of the masculine and feminine is life itself, a child. There are other equally important creations. A business, community service, spiritual offering . . . a key question is do you together serve others?
Deciding to stay in or end a relationship is a perfect time to use the tools offered in 'How to Make a Decision'. If you fully relax your body, an inner knowing will arise. Your soul knows the truth. It knows if it is time to move on. It knows if you should stay despite the conflict or pain. Trust and have faith in your own knowing.
Sometimes it is appropriate for a relationship to end. Everything that arises in times ends in time. When that time is can only be known be accessing the wisdom of your own open heart. If it is right for one person it will be right for the other. That is the nature of our oneness. For each to grow and to live from their essence it may not only be desirable but necessary for the relationship to end. In this case to serve the other and to love them unconditionally, could mean the end of the relationship. A relationship may have been perfect at one time and served each perfectly but then it may come to a time that it no longer serves either. This is the time to gracefully allow the form of the relationship to change while continuing to love each other. Love between two beings does not need to end when the form of the relationship changes. In fact the love between former intimate partners can be one of the most endearing beautiful experiences of love.
Live Your Essence!
© Rod West - Live Your Essence